NSV

Okay! I have said that I love my lap band lately? Its kind of tight but I wore a size 18 pants to work today. And yeah that is still big, but its so much better than the 22/24 that I was in. I was trying to think of when the last time I was able to wear these and I think it was around 2005. I wonder what people at work think about me wearing these clothes and boots? lol. Only one person said anything- and ya know what? I am going to wear the clothes-- because I can!!! Its not that I think I look nice because over all its not about that at all.. Its just the victory of finally being able to get to in these clothes that have just been hanging in my closet for so long!!! If a person has never been morbidly obese they have no idea what it feels like to finally feel formerly too small clothes fit again!!! When I look at myself naked I can't see the difference that much.. but my clothes tell me that the changes are happening. Slowly but surely.. I promise to be patient with myself. I will be going into my 40's at the lowest weight I have been in years. My lowest weight since being in Texas was 160 and I think I was there for about a minute. Then my life got a little mixed up and turned around. That was when I was 30!! Wow. 10 years ago.. a lifetime in someways and yesterday in others! (Turned a little wild there for awhile)

One of the strangest things to me about this weight loss journey is how a food I would think would plug my band up -- just slides right through.. Its almost like the bottom part of my stomach just opens up and lets that hot tamale candy that I love so much, or those ever so fattening chips .. Nope the stoma just opens up and lets those foods that I don't need right on through. Let me try and eat a meat ball, or some chicken and I am going to be stuck and feeling awful.. makes no sense. My significant other thinks that its all in my head. ITs NOT! I can't eat those foods easily. I think that so much of our relationship was built around food that its been pretty hard to find common ground. There have been a few times that I have wondered if we could even make it through this WLJ and end up on the other side still together. Food just cant be my "thing" anymore. She likes to cook for me-- but does not care to cook things for me that are band friendly. I realize that she over feeds the pets, and that is her way of showing love. I can't/won't let that happen to me anymore. lol sounds weird or harsh of me to say but its true. I wonder if other people have these kind of thoughts...

Things that I want to work on this next month that is coming up:
Exercise Walking or bike 4 days per week
Water-- I have never been getting this water in
By the end of October 210-- WOW! Can that be right????
I need to join a challenge!
Okay-- Well off to enjoy this Friday evening here by myself..(which is a nice thing) =)) its only for a few more hours. And I am going to enjoy.